Double Trouble
Double Trouble
by
Uniting Communities Foster Care
Early Days
Early Days
Two years. That’s how long it’s been since my life permanently changed. I’d known what was coming for weeks. Mum would take me for walks, or shopping, and kept dropping hints – until she dropped the big one, “Polly, your Dad and I have decided to take in a couple of foster kids”.
So, 2 years ago, I watched from my bedroom as my Mum pulled into the driveway. As all 3 got out of the car, I could see one of the boys tried to help Mum with their bags – the other couldn’t care less. I was 13 at the time and they were both 10. They were twins, but they were far from identical, in many more ways than their looks – as I would soon find out.
To be honest, back then, I was kinda looking forward to being the big sister, and having a couple of brat brothers to boss around. My friends, however, painted a different picture. “They’ll steal your stuff,” – “you’ll no longer be your Mum’s favourite.” But the warning that really got me thinking was, “Polly, you know you’re now outnumbered”. I was worried.
Two years. That’s how long it’s been since my life permanently changed. I’d known what was coming for weeks. Mum would take me for walks, or shopping, and kept dropping hints – until she dropped the big one, “Polly, your Dad and I have decided to take in a couple of foster kids”.
So, 2 years ago, I watched from my bedroom as my Mum pulled into the driveway. As all 3 got out of the car, I could see one of the boys tried to help Mum with their bags – the other couldn’t care less. I was 13 at the time and they were both 10. They were twins, but they were far from identical, in many more ways than their looks – as I would soon find out.
To be honest, back then, I was kinda looking forward to being the big sister, and having a couple of brat brothers to boss around. My friends, however, painted a different picture. “They’ll steal your stuff,” – “you’ll no longer be your Mum’s favourite.” But the warning that really got me thinking was, “Polly, you know you’re now outnumbered”. I was worried.
The first few weeks were pretty quiet – like we were all testing each other’s buttons without pushing them. Mum told me they might do things that annoyed me, or frustrated me, and that I shouldn’t yell or let them get to me – to talk to her or Dad. Mostly, I just went to my room.
Felix was the quieter one. Kept a lot to himself. Any of my friends that I introduced him to thought he was a bit nerdy – probably because he always reading, and always the same book – “Lord of the Rings”. That made me think he might like video games, and I was right. He loved them, and actually got really good – beat me a few times.
But Gus was different. He was the more expressive one – if you can call grunts and shoulder shrugs expressions. But then sometimes, he would really let it all out – as mad, raging tantrums, often with furniture flying. But then one day, it wasn’t him that had the meltdown, it was me.
The first few weeks were pretty quiet – like we were all testing each other’s buttons without pushing them. Mum told me they might do things that annoyed me, or frustrated me, and that I shouldn’t yell or let them get to me – to talk to her or Dad. Mostly, I just went to my room.
Felix was the quieter one. Kept a lot to himself. Any of my friends that I introduced him to thought he was a bit nerdy – probably because he always reading, and always the same book – “Lord of the Rings”. That made me think he might like video games, and I was right. He loved them, and actually got really good – beat me a few times.
But Gus was different. He was the more expressive one – if you can call grunts and shoulder shrugs expressions. But then sometimes, he would really let it all out – as mad, raging tantrums, often with furniture flying. But then one day, it wasn’t him that had the meltdown, it was me.
Tipping Point
Tipping Point
My parents were always asking me to try to include the boys in stuff – so we’d walk to school together, share things on our phones and have a laugh. But then one day I caught Gus using my scooter. He hadn’t asked, he just took it, like it was his. But I couldn’t believe what Mum said when I told her, “Let him play with it for a while.” “What! – it’s not his, it’s mine!”. “He enjoys it.” How could she not see the point? But that’s not what got me really mad.
Days later I came home – to find the scooter all busted-up, sticking out the top of the bin. I ran inside and Mum had her arm around Gus. Apparently, he’d wanted to go out on the scooter, but he had homework to do, and Mum wouldn’t let him – so he ran out, grabbed the scooter, and smashed it to bits on the driveway.
My parents were always asking me to try to include the boys in stuff – so we’d walk to school together, share things on our phones and have a laugh. But then one day I caught Gus using my scooter. He hadn’t asked, he just took it, like it was his. But I couldn’t believe what Mum said when I told her, “Let him play with it for a while.” “What! – it’s not his, it’s mine!”. “He enjoys it.” How could she not see the point? But that’s not what got me really mad.
Days later I came home – to find the scooter all busted-up, sticking out the top of the bin. I ran inside and Mum had her arm around Gus. Apparently, he’d wanted to go out on the scooter, but he had homework to do, and Mum wouldn’t let him – so he ran out, grabbed the scooter, and smashed it to bits on the driveway.
But the tipping point wasn’t that Gus had busted up my scooter, it was the way Mum was dealing with him. If I’d done what he did, both my parents would have totally lost it – but she was consoling him! Now it was my turn to rant and scream – what kind of parent does this! I ran up to my room, in tears. My friends were right – he’s Mum’s new favourite.
But the tipping point wasn’t that Gus had busted up my scooter, it was the way Mum was dealing with him. If I’d done what he did, both my parents would have totally lost it – but she was consoling him! Now it was my turn to rant and scream – what kind of parent does this! I ran up to my room, in tears. My friends were right – he’s Mum’s new favourite.
A Mother Knows Best
A Mother Knows Best
A couple of hours had gone by. I’d swapped the tears in my eyes for tunes in my ears – that always worked. I thought I heard a couple of knocks on the door, so I pulled my headphones back, and then came a couple of really loud knocks, and Mum yelling “POLLY!” I said, “yeah”, in normal volume – “Can I come in? – I have hot chocolate.”
I’ll never, ever, forget the conversation I had with my Mum that night. She opened up far more than before, about the lives that Felix and Gus had experienced before coming to us. And how each of them was still learning how to handle their feelings. Even at that age, I could now understand why Felix was easily intimidated and was so guarded – and why Gus could get so easily annoyed and angry.
Even without the details about their lives that I knew my Mum was holding back, I had all kinds of new feelings for Felix and Gus – as my Mum kept calling them – my brothers. And as she explained, that doesn’t mean they’re my friends, that have to get along all the time – it means we belong to each other, we’re a family – and a family looks out for one another.
A couple of hours had gone by. I’d swapped the tears in my eyes for tunes in my ears – that always worked. I thought I heard a couple of knocks on the door, so I pulled my headphones back, and then came a couple of really loud knocks, and Mum yelling “POLLY!” I said, “yeah”, in normal volume – “Can I come in? – I have hot chocolate.”
I’ll never, ever, forget the conversation I had with my Mum that night. She opened up far more than before, about the lives that Felix and Gus had experienced before coming to us. And how each of them was still learning how to handle their feelings. Even at that age, I could now understand why Felix was easily intimidated and was so guarded – and why Gus could get so easily annoyed and angry.
Even without the details about their lives that I knew my Mum was holding back, I had all kinds of new feelings for Felix and Gus – as my Mum kept calling them – my brothers. And as she explained, that doesn’t mean they’re my friends, that have to get along all the time – it means we belong to each other, we’re a family – and a family looks out for one another.
A Watershed
A Watershed
Things changed after ‘the incident’ (it was my Dad that came up with that name). I became less possessive of my stuff – Felix started wearing my red hoodie, which I allowed, but had kinda grown out of. Felix also started doing really well at school. I guess all that reading made him a good student – the teachers sure thought so.
But the biggest change was in Gus. It didn’t happen overnight, it was gradual, but we were all continually reminded of how he was adapting. Even Felix could see the differences in his brother (he was definitely the smart one). The first signs were the way he now talked to Mum – you could tell that he respected her; more than that, he knew was safe with her.
Things changed after ‘the incident’ (it was my Dad that came up with that name). I became less possessive of my stuff – Felix started wearing my red hoodie, which I allowed, but had kinda grown out of. Felix also started doing really well at school. I guess all that reading made him a good student – the teachers sure thought so.
But the biggest change was in Gus. It didn’t happen overnight, it was gradual, but we were all continually reminded of how he was adapting. Even Felix could see the differences in his brother (he was definitely the smart one). The first signs were the way he now talked to Mum – you could tell that he respected her; more than that, he knew was safe with her.
And then there came that watershed moment. It was Mother’s Day, last year, and the boys got Mum some flowers. Nothing fancy – just a lovely little bunch – which Felix promises was his brother’s idea.
And then there came that watershed moment. It was Mother’s Day, last year, and the boys got Mum some flowers. Nothing fancy – just a lovely little bunch – which Felix promises was his brother’s idea.
But Mum wasn’t only one that got a gift. I did too – in fact, I got a pair of them. Two little brothers – that sometimes bug me, often irritate me and love to harass me – but are as much an important part of my life, as I think I am for them.
But Mum wasn’t only one that got a gift. I did too – in fact, I got a pair of them. Two little brothers – that sometimes bug me, often irritate me and love to harass me – but are as much an important part of my life, as I think I am for them.
Can you imagine yourself being part of Felix and Gus’ story?
Right now, many children like them would love the care and support from patient and caring people, like you.
If you’d like find out more about being a Specialist Foster Carer, we’d love to hear from you at Uniting Communities.
Can you imagine yourself being part of Felix and Gus’ story?
Right now, many children like them would love the care and support from patient and caring people, like you.
If you’d like find out more about being a Specialist Foster Carer, we’d love to hear from you at Uniting Communities.
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