Small Steps
Small Steps
by
Uniting Communities Foster Care
Early Days
Early Days
Charlie stood in the room, the murmur of other foster carers in his ears. He glanced down at his notes for the training session, very aware that he was still learning, and the novice within the group.
Charlie stood in the room, the murmur of other foster carers in his ears. He glanced down at his notes for the training session, very aware that he was still learning, and the novice within the group.
“Perry never calls me Dad,” Charlie blurted out, his voice surprisingly steady.
“Perry never calls me Dad,” Charlie blurted out, his voice surprisingly steady.
“He tells everyone I’m his carer.
...tells me to drop him off at the gate and not come into school...
“He tells everyone I’m his carer.
...tells me to drop him off at the gate and not come into school...
...Doesn’t even want friends over.”
...Doesn’t even want friends over.”
A warm hand touched his shoulder. He looked up to see Reggie, the foster carer who was running the session. “That sounds tough, Charlie,” Reggie said gently. “Does anyone else have an experience they’d like to share about early attachment?”
Charlie took some comfort from Reggie’s request. Surely he wasn’t the only one.
A warm hand touched his shoulder. He looked up to see Reggie, the foster carer who was running the session. “That sounds tough, Charlie,” Reggie said gently. “Does anyone else have an experience they’d like to share about early attachment?”
Charlie took some comfort from Reggie’s request. Surely he wasn’t the only one.
Worst Mum Ever
Worst Mum Ever
The group was quiet for a moment. Jenny was the first to speak up.
She’d been a carer for nearly five years, and took this chance to share one story that she’ll never forget.
“I remember when Steve first came to me,” she began, her voice warm and seasoned.
The group held their collective breath as Jenny launched into a story that painted a vivid picture of a tantrum of epic proportions.
The group was quiet for a moment. Jenny was the first to speak up.
She’d been a carer for nearly five years, and took this chance to share one story that she’ll never forget.
“I remember when Steve first came to me,” she began, her voice warm and seasoned.
The group held their collective breath as Jenny launched into a story that painted a vivid picture of a tantrum of epic proportions.
“It started innocently enough,” Jenny continued. “We were building a tower out of blocks, and then one wrong move, and it all came tumbling down. Steve lost it big time. Yelling, throwing the blocks, everything he could get his hands on, across the room.”
“It started innocently enough,” Jenny continued. “We were building a tower out of blocks, and then one wrong move, and it all came tumbling down. Steve lost it big time. Yelling, throwing the blocks, everything he could get his hands on, across the room.”
Jenny paused, refreshing the memory in her mind. “Then he turned on me – screaming threats and all kinds of accusations”. With most of their heads bowed, sympathising, everyone in the group then looked up in surprise as Jenny let out a little chuckle, mostly to herself. “But guess what? In the middle of shouting every colourful word he knew, he called me Mum!”
Jenny paused, refreshing the memory in her mind. “Then he turned on me – screaming threats and all kinds of accusations”. With most of their heads bowed, sympathising, everyone in the group then looked up in surprise as Jenny let out a little chuckle, mostly to herself. “But guess what? In the middle of shouting every colourful word he knew, he called me Mum!”
Small Wins
Small Wins
Jenny’s smile, however, held a different kind of surprise. “It was a turning point,” she explained. “He’d never called me Mum before. Even though it was in a meltdown, it showed how much our connection meant to him.”
“He may not call you Mum all the time, Jenny,” Reggie suggested, “but it shows the bond is there.”
Jenny’s smile, however, held a different kind of surprise. “It was a turning point,” she explained. “He’d never called me Mum before. Even though it was in a meltdown, it showed how much our connection meant to him.”
“He may not call you Mum all the time, Jenny,” Reggie suggested, “but it shows the bond is there.”
Steve, as Jenny revealed, had been with her for five years. They’d weathered countless storms together, yet her unwavering presence had built a foundation of trust, allowing Steve to finally express his true feelings, even the angry ones.
Steve, as Jenny revealed, had been with her for five years. They’d weathered countless storms together, yet her unwavering presence had built a foundation of trust, allowing Steve to finally express his true feelings, even the angry ones.
“It’s about the small wins,” Jenny finished, a glint of pride in her eyes.
Charlie scribbled the last of his words in his notebook. Maybe fostering wasn’t about grand gestures of attachment. Perhaps, as Jenny found, it was the build-up of these ‘small wins’ – a shared story, a moment of trust, a flicker of connection.
“It’s about the small wins,” Jenny finished, a glint of pride in her eyes.
Charlie scribbled the last of his words in his notebook. Maybe fostering wasn’t about grand gestures of attachment. Perhaps, as Jenny found, it was the build-up of these ‘small wins’ – a shared story, a moment of trust, a flicker of connection.
A Spark of Hope
A Spark of Hope
That night, Charlie replayed Jenny’s story in his mind. Perry, usually a whirlwind of energy, had been unusually quiet after dinner. As Charlie tucked Perry into bed, he recognised something troubling him, “something the matter, Champ?” Perry, clearly feeling embarrassed or even ashamed to ask, mumbled, “Charlie, can you, uh, read me a story?”
That night, Charlie replayed Jenny’s story in his mind. Perry, usually a whirlwind of energy, had been unusually quiet after dinner. As Charlie tucked Perry into bed, he recognised something troubling him, “something the matter, Champ?” Perry, clearly feeling embarrassed or even ashamed to ask, mumbled, “Charlie, can you, uh, read me a story?”
This was a first. Charlie stuttered, “Of – of Course”, as he fumbled for a book.
It was a tiny step forward, but a bridge was being built. Filled with pride, Charlie settled himself beside Perry, and spoke of stories of faraway lands and brave heroes.
This was a first. Charlie stuttered, “Of – of Course”, as he fumbled for a book.
It was a tiny step forward, but a bridge was being built. Filled with pride, Charlie settled himself beside Perry, and spoke of stories of faraway lands and brave heroes.
As Perry slowly drifted off, a sense of quiet contentment settled over Charlie. He didn’t need Perry to call him “Dad”. It was a spark of hope in the adventure of fostering – a reminder that even the smallest victories were worth celebrating.
The story ended, and as Perry snuggled deeper under the covers, Charlie smiled, realising the journey wouldn’t be easy, but with support, guidance, and a newfound appreciation for “small wins”, a spark of hope grew within him. He was ready to navigate the storms, embrace the unexpected moments, and build a lasting bond with Perry, one story at a time.
As Perry slowly drifted off, a sense of quiet contentment settled over Charlie. He didn’t need Perry to call him “Dad”. It was a spark of hope in the adventure of fostering – a reminder that even the smallest victories were worth celebrating.
The story ended, and as Perry snuggled deeper under the covers, Charlie smiled, realising the journey wouldn’t be easy, but with support, guidance, and a newfound appreciation for “small wins”, a spark of hope grew within him. He was ready to navigate the storms, embrace the unexpected moments, and build a lasting bond with Perry, one story at a time.
Can you see yourself as part Perry’s story?
Foster care might not always be sunshine and rainbows, but with the support of training and fellow carers, it can be a truly rewarding experience.
If you’d like to find out more about being a Foster Carer, we’d love to hear from you at Uniting Communities.
Can you see yourself as part Perry’s story?
Foster care might not always be sunshine and rainbows, but with the support of training and fellow carers, it can be a truly rewarding experience.
If you’d like to find out more about being a Foster Carer, we’d love to hear from you at Uniting Communities.
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